The Self Sagas from 4/15/15

Lawd, help me! I'm at work minding my own business, doing my job, working for the green stuff, you get the picture 💵.... Well, I lean over to (sorry if anyone has a needle phobia💉) stick my patient for dialysis and I felt a tickle on my stomach, like there was something in my shirt 👕. I immediately stop what I'm doing, run my hand up my shirt to feel around, look down my shirt (got a new bra and love it💄) but don't see anything that's not suppose to be there 😕. So I say to mySelf, Self, it's just your ex large shirt fluttering against your tummy. Okay, sounds plausible, so I proceed where I left off 😊Patient stuck, treatment started, charting in process, silly me it was just my shirt. 😉 Or was it?? I feel a tiny tickle on my lower back. Was it my shirt again, I ask mySelf, and this time mySelf wasn't so easily convinced 😒. So, I excuse myself from the floor, and walked calmly (OK, maybe it was a very fast walk and I think I actually broke a sweat😓) I take my glasses off and all but throw them in the garbage, pull my shirt off, turn it inside out for inspection. My worst fear has come from the land of eeck, in to gross reality! There was a beetle bug in my shirt!! 😨😱😵😭😫. I looked him on the eye and said, "today is not a good day for you", and then I flicked it off so hard that he bounced off the wall and then I stepped on him extra hard, ending his life right then and there 😈. I shake my shirt one last time, inspect it further and put it back on. I feel so victorious! 😁. Okay, maybe that's a stretch.....it's more like paranoid with a little dirty thrown in. I need a shower 🚿😭!

Thoughts of a day

We all have our battles to fight, but some people are facing war. 
A battle is a fight you may win or lose and still live. 
But in a war, whether you fight or not, there's chance of death.
Remember that the next time you whine about something. The next time you think that you are the only one with problems in this world. The next time that you get angry at someone and refuse forgiveness or don't ask for it. The next time a selfish or hateful thought enters your mind about someone thats upset you. The next time you take your life or someone else, for granted. 
Every breath is a gift from God. Pray for those that are fighting war, and thank God, our Savior, that it isn't you.

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Life comes with choices. Choices come with consequences. If you don't like the consequences of your choices, you better suck it up and deal with it. Time does not stand still for anyone, it keeps moving right along. Remember, God gave us free will to choose our direction, not a free pass for an easy life.

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Some days, are easier to deal with than others. Some days your best doesn't measure up to expectations. Some days, the communication gap is wide and difficult. Some days, judgements trump understanding. Some days, others doubt your ability, causing you to doubt yourself. 
But at the end of those "somedays", you have to remember that you're not perfect. So, dry your tears, pull up your big girl bloomers, light a match and burn that bridge down. Afterwards, walk away with your head held high, knowing that you are enough, and surround yourself with those that know you are.  
My family, my friends and my God, are my strength on "some days"

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There are times that I am 'compelled' to help others, so I pray for guidance and direction. I lift it up to God, and I know when I am going in the right direction and when I'm not. Some time's the right direction seems to be the wrong one. Recently, I followed God's lead, but was lied to, taken advantage of and stolen from; yet I continued to trust God and try to help this person, to no avail. It made me question if I misunderstood God's guidance. 
Today, I replayed all the events in my mind to see if I made a mistake. And then it hit me! I did all I was meant to do, to the best of my ability and it was all in God's plan. What I thought was MY failure to help this person, was actually HIS test for me. I prayed, I listened, I believed and I followed. I know that one day, I will reap the blessings of my faithful service to God.

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The Self Sagas from 3/2/15

Homework night is so comical at our house. David "helps" Lauren with her math, which basically means that David and Lauren just discuss the math problems, argue over the questions AND answers, laugh at each other and both get distracted every 3 minutes. In 2 hours, they have done 3 questions…and have 6 more to go. Right now, they are watching our dog, Bruce, sleep and dream, and trying to figure out what he's dreaming about. I'm trying to redirect them but their attention span is nonexistent.
Lauren: "Dad, your eyes are blue. Dad, open your eyes". David: 'Are we done yet"? Me: Homework!
David: So, what do you think the answer is?" Lauren: "What if I write Jesus? Jesus is always the answer". Me: Homework!
David: "I have a splinter". Lauren: "Good Lord Dad, give me your knife"? David: "I feel it when I drive". Lauren: "Well, I will have to drive you from now on". Me: Homework!
Lauren: "Dad, you're falling asleep. I see you!" David: "No I'm not". Lauren: "You have your eyes closed". She keeps cutting her eyes towards him to catch him. David is straining to keep his eyes open. Lauren looks at me and starts laughing.
Me: I think you two have Attention Deficient Disorder.
Lauren: No we don't. Wait. What does that mean?
David: ADD. (as he starts playing with Kilo's paw while she sleeps, and Lauren starts laughing again) Lauren: Dad, your distracting me.
I love my family!

The Self Sagas 5/19/15

The Self saga....since last check on this odd but loving misfit of a family, time has not stood still. A change of address into an heirloom family home...Ok, not that old of an heirloom unless never experienced the 70's. Nevermind, I will continue....
We bought David's grandparents home, lock-stock, and critters included. When we were getting the house cleaned out for renovating last summer, David and I were doing a walk through. In the kitchen, I heard a noise. David, I say...did you hear that? He said, nope, I didn't hear anything. It was obvious that he wasn't going to admit to it. When he starts clearing out the cabinets, he find the noise and it's babies too. He calls Dylan too come quick and bring a giging spear. Now, im videoing this whole thing, as far away from the action and closest to the door as I could get. David is all up in the mama rats bubble, she squealed, or maybe that was me...Dylan came at her with the spear, babies hitting the floor, David running after them....it was a chaotic hot mess up in that kitchen.
Fast forward 1 year....we're in our nicely remodeled home. Within 3 days we hear the pitter patter of little feet in the attic. What the world? Sometimes it sounded like whatever was up there was having relay races. So, my manly man climbs up to take a little look see. Hmm, what do you know...rats, and a few babies. Ugghh! He can see them, but their so far back under the roof angle that he can't get too far. Oh, they see him too, but they're not scared. They know they have the advantage . Well, David is not one to get defeated. After realizing he couldn't shoot them because, well..a hole in the roof would not go well, and he couldn't spear them, he sets a trap and catches one. After a another week, he puts out rat poison, that 'eats them from the inside out so they won't smell'. Uh huh? Well, I have to say that the rat family has gone on to their cheese heaven in the sky. Yay! Game over, David wins! Except, the poison didn't have the desired effect frown emoticon
So, now, we are smelling the pungent order of rotting rat carcases, over our bedroom. Yes, folks...gross. I found myself googling 'how long does it take a decomposed rat in the attic to stop smelling'. Answer? Not soon enough! Game over, rat wins unsure emoticon

The Self Sagas from 5/22/15

The Self Sagas.....Now, I've never been one for sentimental stuffed animals. One that you take with you everywhere, cherish, look upon with fond memories, that was given out of love or friendship, that says 'Hey, I know this is cheesy, but when you hold this, see this, touch this, that you think of me and know that I was thinking of you and love you'. I guess it's because no one thought of me like that. (Insert big sigh, sad face) okay but seriously, I secretly envy those that do(Renee, Rich & Joey the bear)because it's such a sweet gesture and a bonding connection. So, about 2 yrs ago I bought myself a pink hippo pillow pet. Don't judge, a girls got to show love to herself once in a while. I've kept my pink hippo at the head of my pillow since buying it....for myself. Goodness I sound pathetic unsure emoticon
I'll move this story along, okay?! Fast forward last Thursday, or back...I don't know, but you should be smart enough to figure it out. I was babysitting my grand daughter's, Charlotte and Sunny. Sending time with them is so precious, rewarding and tiring. So, we all climbed on the couch, covered up with blankets to watch cartoons. Now, these 2 girls are so thoughtful and here's why...
Grandmommy (that's me): I feel like a nap.
Charlotte: You look very tired, you need to go to sleep?
Sunny: Yeah Grandmommy (that's me), go to sleep.
Sunny gets of the couch, runs to her room and brings back 3 stuffed animals, lays them next to me and says 'now you can go too sleep'.
Not one to fight cuteness, I lightly dozed, eyes closed but mostly still awake. After about 30 minutes....
Charlotte: Okay Grandmommy (that's me) you can wake up now.
Sunny: Yep, time to wake up.
I thank Sunny for letting me sleep with her animals and hand them back. She comes back over to me and gives me her fox.
Sunny: Here Grandmommy (that's me) you can take it home so you can sleep with it.
I said no, I don't want to take your toys.
Sunny: That's okay, I don't like this one anyway so you can have it.
No matter the reason, it was given out of love, so I told her I would sleep with it every night. And so I have. Pink hippo and Foxy foxy have gotten along quite well, no fighting, no arguing. I kept them tucked up under my main pillow, kinda between the mattress and the wall so prying eyes with sharp teeth (Bruce and Buddy) wouldn't discover and try to gut them. Today, I came home from work, walked in our bedroom and stared at my bed in horror and disbelief. My Foxy foxy was laying on her side, lifeless, head wet. I reached for her slowly to turned her over. She, they...Oh my goodness...One of the 4 legged beast, ate her eyes! Both of them! I was staring into 2 empty holes. Bless her, she still had a smile on her face.
I stumble to the bathroom for water and as I do, I see a big pile of stuffing against the wall. I yell for David, hoping against hope that it came from some other source. I turn back to the bed again and braced myself for what I already knew. Pinky hippo was laying upside down, no pulse, no breath sounds (hey, I'm a nurse, what do you expect?) more white stuffing was scattered here and there. Again, I turn one of my friends over....GASP! .....her eyes were missing too! Oh the horror! I tried putting the stuffing back in her head but it was no use, there was too much fluff loss. With blindness and brain damage, I had to put her down. cry emoticon
Foxy foxy is permanently blind, but I will not rest until I find eyeballs to transplant. It's been a stressful event, so I must rest. Please keep us in your prayers. Thank you wink emoticon

What to keep and what to give away?

Not a funny blog today……
I made a  recently that will change my life a few others. With much thought and research, I have decided to become an organ donor….while I'm still alive. I have chosen to donate one of my kidneys in the name of a friends' husband so that he will in turn receive someone else's kidney donation. Kind of like a swap, of sorts. My kidneys are healthy, and function to the max (as my nightly multi stumbles to the bathroom can attest), and my Dr says I'm in great health. My request has gone before the transplant board twice for discussion because I take a diuretic for fluid retention and high blood pressure, which I don't believe I actually have. My donor transplant coordinator has been very informing on the before's and after's stuff, although, there is much more to go over if I am chosen.
Starting today, I have stopped my Maxide for 5-6 days, per requests, and I am to take my blood pressure once a day for 8 days, and fax in my log. The transplant board will re-evaluate and make a final decision.
Most of my family (that know right now) is supportive but confused as to why I would under go an unnecessary surgery that will affect my life by leaving me one kidney. I wish I had a logical answer that they could understand, but frankly, I just don't. One of my kids is upset, and will not give her support, and I know she will be angry to hear if I am chosen. But really, what am I to do? You can say that I'm being stupid and impulsive, but honestly, I'm not.
What about the lives that I will be helping; the families that have more time with their loved ones; the impact that my selfless choice will have on a parent, spouse, a child…that cannot take dialysis one more moment because it's just too stressful on their body?
God gave me this body and the choice of freewill. The fact that I am freely wanting to do this, is not wrong. I will not get money or lavish gifts for this. I will get the hospital bill taken care of and the comfort of knowing that I have done my best to help someone in need.
Day #1 Blood pressure check 116/72

Peace, love and fairy dust,
Rhonda

Getting the boot

My fall from grace the other night, left me with a strained tendon. So, a classy boot has been added to my spectacular wardrobe selection, for the next 2-3 weeks. This is not acceptable. It's hot and heavy, making me delicately perspire, like a fireman fighting a fire. At least it's not broke, so that's something to cheer me up 😕

The Self Sagas - Please, water for the weary…

Am I accident prone? No. A little clumsy at times? Maybe. As I type this, my left middle finger is throbbing for getting it closed in my car door, my right thumb hurts from trying to put up mini blinds in our new house, and my right ankle feels sprang from stepping on something outside.
We have been trying to complete the renovations on our house that we will soon (hopefully) move into.  Tonight I had the amazing (not) pleasure of hanging blinds in my daughters room and the guest room.  I pull everything out and access the parts, immediately realizing that there are a lot of screws for 1 blind and I already know that I am not going to use them all. Have you ever tried to line that stupid evil screw up with that God forsaken plastic blind bracket without dropping the screw a minimum of 10 times? Surprisingly, it is possible to exceed 10. I'm up on the ladder, begging the hard wear, cursing to person whoever invented these things, sweating tons of unshed tears, and pleading to the screw to please, please go into the wood and not give into the gravity pulling it to the floor. I think I lost weight. Surely, I shed tons of calories after such an intense workout. Did I mention that was only the first of 3 blinds to put up? It was time for some serious motivation in the name of OLD SCHOOL….REO Speedwagon, The Eagles, Journey, Kansas, Aerosmith, Fleetwood Mac and yes, I even pulled out my all time favorite…..BOSTON! This was getting serious. Finally, first window is adorned with a mini blind, a curtain rod and 2 sheer white panel curtains, so I move onto window #2. At this point, I feel dehydration setting in, my glasses keep sliding down my face, my ankle in throbbing and I'm almost positive that my pants are fitting looser.  I beg David for cold water. He takes pity on this pitiful hot mess of a wife, and runs to the other house to bring me this cold blessing from God. I would have cried, but I have no more moisture in my body.  The 2nd window went easier and fairly fast, Thank the Good Lord! Feeling somewhat refreshed, I hang the last blind in the guest room in a fraction of the time as the last.  As I step out of the room and start to turn out the light, I look back at the window in the room and smile. It's hanging straight and I won all 3 battles in under 3 hours. I close the door, and hobble down the hallway. Victory is mine ;)

The Self Sagas - I should have called in sick :/

From 3/11/15

I woke up early for work, took shower, makeup looks flawless, hair looks really good. Kiss hubby goodbye as he sleeps. (Aww, I know right!). Gather my things, spend 10 minutes looking for an umbrella because it's raining horribly ourside. Give up and put a walmart bag on my head. (Did I mention I was having a great hair day?) Porch light bulb was out...couldn't use the light on my phone to find my car in the driveway,  so i took one glance before shutting the front door, only to realize that my son parked behind me. Deep breath needed. I run to my car, trying to carrying my purse, my tote bag and hold onto my walmart bag. (I'm still having a great hair day). Once I'm situated in my car, I try squeezing between my husband parked next to me and my son parked behind me. There was no way my little Miata was going to get through.  Times ticking, and I need to leave NOW. Scanning for alternate route. My only choice is to cut through the front yard. So, up over the walk way I go, running over my 'confused over the weather, but blooming anyway' daffodils.  Sorry little buttercup, but I'm now running late and sacrifices have to be made.  I'm doing good, I'm going to  make it! But no, the buttercup are vengeful,  mid turn  towards the driveway, my car slides in the mud and is stuck. I mean really stuck. So, stuck that I had to ask forgiveness for my words.  I get out if the car, step in the mud, no walmart bag because at the point, I think my head spun around. Go inside, slamming the door, wake hubby up yelling about the whole situation and that I'm taking my son's vehicle. Out in the rain I go without my walmart bag, move my things and off I go. I call my husband and apologize, I shouldn't have yelled at him. So now, I'm 15 minute past the time I should have left, and reminded myself to drive safe. Arrived at work late, good hair day gone bad. I hate the rain. Frustration is not the way to start your day.