The Self Sagas from 4/15/15

Lawd, help me! I'm at work minding my own business, doing my job, working for the green stuff, you get the picture 💵.... Well, I lean over to (sorry if anyone has a needle phobia💉) stick my patient for dialysis and I felt a tickle on my stomach, like there was something in my shirt 👕. I immediately stop what I'm doing, run my hand up my shirt to feel around, look down my shirt (got a new bra and love it💄) but don't see anything that's not suppose to be there 😕. So I say to mySelf, Self, it's just your ex large shirt fluttering against your tummy. Okay, sounds plausible, so I proceed where I left off 😊Patient stuck, treatment started, charting in process, silly me it was just my shirt. 😉 Or was it?? I feel a tiny tickle on my lower back. Was it my shirt again, I ask mySelf, and this time mySelf wasn't so easily convinced 😒. So, I excuse myself from the floor, and walked calmly (OK, maybe it was a very fast walk and I think I actually broke a sweat😓) I take my glasses off and all but throw them in the garbage, pull my shirt off, turn it inside out for inspection. My worst fear has come from the land of eeck, in to gross reality! There was a beetle bug in my shirt!! 😨😱😵😭😫. I looked him on the eye and said, "today is not a good day for you", and then I flicked it off so hard that he bounced off the wall and then I stepped on him extra hard, ending his life right then and there 😈. I shake my shirt one last time, inspect it further and put it back on. I feel so victorious! 😁. Okay, maybe that's a stretch.....it's more like paranoid with a little dirty thrown in. I need a shower 🚿😭!